BUILD A HOME

Wow.

Maybe I am not meant for this house building stress! At night after the munchkins are in bed, I start thinking about all of it and a little ball of nerves well up in my belly and I feel sick. Nothing even that bad has even happened!

But I noticed something else during this process. I am a person who is very influenced by my living space. The first house we bought was our baby. We re-did every room and it looked like a miniature Pottery Barn. We sold that house and moved into this dastardly rental.

The house is the exact opposite of every thing we love. Old, dark cabinets. Flimsy, fake dark wood doors. Stained, gross carpets. Gold hardware. Floral wall paper in the bathrooms from 1986.  I wake up in morning and look around at the totally uninspired and blah everything and feel totally uninspired and blah myself. We cannot even put holes in the walls to put up any art (tenants rules). It is like living in an ugly box. (Yes, I know we are lucky to have a house.)

The thought of living in a space that makes me feel in inspired again, helps that ball of nerves dissipate. Even if I did not build and we bought a small, little mobile home I would put all my extra money into making it cute! I cannot stand it, this fugly house. So bring on the stress! I want out of here.